Friday, September 05, 2014

"Maxi"mize

Sunnies: Marc Jacobs, Maxi: Lucca Couture, Necklace c/o Uncommon Goods

Well, the time has come. It's Friday! Today I decided to "maxi"mize my comfort by wearing this super soft and light maxi dress by Lucca Couture. It is available for a STEAL at Nordstrom Rack online for $20.00! Go get one, you will LOVE it! While everyone else is saying goodbye to summer, we are down here in Florida refusing to wear pants. Have a great weekend, and long live the maxi dress. :) 

Friday, August 29, 2014

I Woke Up Like This

My week, #nofilter


At times it takes more than an alarm to wake us up. For me, it took a virus that hit me like a ton of bricks on this past Sunday afternoon. Today is day 6, and I am finally making a slow comeback. This is going to sound crazy, but I am glad that I got sick. I am glad that God used this life sucking virus to slow me down because I needed to check myself.

I have been very angry on the inside for a long time now. There are some things that I have been holding on to, that needed to be released....maybe even for a second or third time. I suppose I hold on to anger because I think I didn't deserve the treatment, or I am afraid to let go and be hurt again. I also have mom guilt. I blame myself for things I could have done better, or continue to fail at. I put pressure on myself to say yes to everything, to please people. I'm training for a marathon, I have four children's schedules to juggle, I work, I help my friends, I cook meals for people in need, and I volunteer a LOT. All the while behind a smile, my insides are burning with anger and bitterness. My fuse is short at home, and I loose it with my husband and children frequently. As bad as I want to alleviate stress in my life, I am constantly and consistently adding more to myself.

Two weeks ago, a counselor told me that if I didn't let go, I was going to get sick. He was right, and I did. When you can't do anything but lie in bed, there is plenty of time to listen to God. There was time to read devotions, helpful books I have been avoiding or didn't have time for, and time to search my broken and bitter heart. One devotion that spoke very loudly said that most people today are living in a perpetual state of overload, stretching themselves to the limit. As a result, they are on the verge of collapse. Even the atmosphere seems to be charted with all kinds of stress, pressure, discouragement, and negativity.

Wake up CATHY! This is you.

"The right attitude opens the door for God to work supernaturally and help you. The right attitude is what allows you to be in the world but not of it, even when you're surrounded by it." -Joyce Meyer

So I let go. I turned that anger and bitterness over, again. I gave the guilt to Him too. I feel lighter (and not just from the lack of eating). I feel peace. The sad part is that I KNOW in my mind that I needed to do this a long time ago, but my heart just wouldn't let go. I know that it will come back again. It always does. But my prayer is that I will remember that I woke up like this....and take it immediately back to the one who's yolk is easy, and burden is light. Matt 11: 28-30.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Frail.....or Frailty?



I heard the other day on a talk show that when young girls are called "frail" they take it as a HUGE compliment. They also talked about a number of eating disorders that girls are very sick with such as eating cotton balls to feel full, and wearing corsets that actually rearrange their internal organs to make their waistlines smaller. It makes me sad.

Frailty: moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.

This sounds more like it to me. Myself included. No....I don't eat cotton balls or wear corsets, but I do obsess about my weight. I know I am not over weight, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be thinner and more tone. I know I should love my body and be thankful that I am healthy, but I still fall into the trap. I believe the lie that I am not fit enough....not thin enough.

It has been hard for me as I get older to accept and love my body as it changes. I read such inspiring posts about loving your stretch marks, cellulite, c-section scars, etc. I still struggle. It was challenging to write this now, but I needed to get it out and be honest for my daughters' sake. I have two girls that are growing up in a social media world where their value will be based on their "likes." How can I teach them differently if I can't except my own body and its changes?

I wonder even if every photo that was photoshopped was tagged "photoshopped", would we stop obsessing? I don't think we are comparing ourselves to pictures only. My point is there will always be someone younger, thinner, prettier, taller, shorter, blonder, etc. It's a struggle, and I think it will still be a struggle even when we tap into what we know is truth. The truth that God loves us and He thinks that we are beautiful no matter what size we are, or how much our bodies change over the years.

I'll be honest, the battle will continue for me. I will continue to pray daily for Him to give me the strength to display self confidence instead of self condemnation in front of my girls. I pray that we can be healthy and strong together.....not frail.


Psalm 139:14
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.




Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Out of the Blue



This post comes out of the blue, from the depths of what I call "Camp Cathy". Also known as summertime, when I have my children at home with me full time. So far everyone has made it unscathed to July 9th. Five weeks, nine days to go. Yes I am counting, and NO I do not feel guilty.

Time for blogging has been replaced with taking advantage of the free movies at our local theater, trips to the YMCA, breaking up numerous fights, swimming until we have prune hands, getting someone a snack at least 50 times throughout the day, playing games, making crafts, and watching enough kids on demand to make my head spin. Cute outfits have been replaced with workout wear as I take full advantage of the 2 hour maximum child care at the YMCA. It's crucial, trust me. In effort to wear them out and keep them busy, I have worn myself out.

Aside from running Camp Cathy, I am also attempting to work from home which is no easy feat. Even though I know that I will never regret the sacrifice I am making now, the days are long. Before I had the two littles I was working full time as a single mom of two, and I would covet the stay at home moms. I would like to go back in time and high five them all now. I had no idea how hard it would be. I am blessed to have a ton of fun with my kids, but there is a ton of stress that goes along with that too. 

Although this is a lot of venting and complaining, I am grateful. I did get a break away with my husband to beautiful Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Those five days were bliss, and what a treat it was to relax. Full time work will always be there, and I am certain whatever God has for me when my children are older will be ready and waiting for me. Until then it's love, pray, play, work, eat, sleep and repeat. 

Virtual high five to all moms.....we've got this!


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

326 Gifts.....and Counting

You haven't seen much activity on this blog lately. I chalk it up to blog funk. While on vacation this week I am being reminded of just how much I have to be thankful for.....and it hit me that I never even came close to finishing my 1000 gifts list. The last time I even documented the list was gift 326 on this post in October of last year. Sad.

What better way to start blogging again, than to blog about what I am thankful for?

327. Ocean breeze on the balcony
328. Sleeping until 8:15am
329. Palm trees
330. Canopies for shade
331. Coconut water
332. Shuffle board
333. Colorful kites flying high
334. Conch fritters
335. Clearance racks
336. Hot showers with homemade soap
337. My husband's job
338. My husband's boss
339. Gas in the car
340. Handstands in the sand
341. Watching my kids dance
342. Lucky charms
343. Fresh fish on the grill
344. Sea glass
345. Pretty paper
346. Warm towels out of the dryer
347. Friendly smiles
348. Bright pink flowers on green bushes
349. Working through arguments
350. A room overflowing with family members

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Denim Day Everywhere




Well, apparently nothing brings a girl out of a blogging slump like Denim Day Everywhere! Wearing jeans on Denim Day has become a symbol of protest against the erroneous and destructive attitudes about sexual assault. In this rape prevention education campaign, being championed by Peace River Center and our local law enforcement, the community was asked to make a social statement today by wearing jeans as a visible means of protest against the misconceptions that surround sexual assault.

Do you have your denim on today?




Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Blog Neglect




It's been almost a month since my last blog post. I can't believe it. I have had some extra work projects pop up, and I have spent a lot of time at the office (pictures above).

Other reasons include: Poor time management, creative slump, busy kids, traveling husband, etc. Hold tight....I'll be back soon.